Apparently the Billy Butler to the A's story was broken by a 13 year old

Butler to A's

So we all know this morning it was reported that Billy Butler has signed with the A's for 3 years and 30 million dollars. What we didn't know until Ken Rosenthal went on Intentional Talk to today was that some little 13 year old pimple face was the one who broke the story. What the hell is going on here? How is this little shit getting information before all beat writers and reporters that do this for a living? The kid is in 8th grade and is riding the bus shooting the shit with Rosenthal while he is emailing Billy Bean and on the horn with Dayton Moore. He is the Adam Schefter of the MLB and still has to worry about getting his algebra homework done so he doesnt get detention. I am not really sure if I like this kid or not, but you have to respect him. He is 13 and already done more with his life than I ever will. Actually Fuck this kid. Such a try hard.

P.S. Go get some Billy Butler. This guy did so much for KC during the past 8 years and I loved watching him. Nothing better than a fat guy that can just rake singles all day everyday.  Best of luck Billy and I hope we can still buy your BBQ sauce around town. 

Chiefs fan getting dominated by bitch wife at chiefs preseason game in Green Bay

Can't be this guy at the game. Can't be this guy ever. Letting your wife publicly call you a loser is admitting she runs the show. At the house. In bed. Everywhere. And your the sap that buys her front  row tix to her teams home game. Grow a pair and tell this broad that if she is planning a sign like this we are sitting up top. 

P. S. Never date a chick that doesn't like the same teams as you. Chicks are stupid and don't know sports. They think they do and when they date someone who doesn't like their team they love to chirp. Can't stand chick chirp. 

Even Obama is Making Fun of the Royals

President Obama has a new White House Spokesman, Josh Earnest. Earnest hails from Kansas City and was introduced personally today by the President. I'm sure the Pres said a lot of political mumbo jumbo that no one really understands nor cares about, but in classic Obama faction he had to get a little zinger in there.

 

Lindsay Wise‏@lindsaywise

"I think he still roots for the Royals." Obama jokes about new press secretary from Kansas City, Josh Earnest. @kcstar

•  Reply 
•  Retweet 
•  Favorite 

• RETWEETS43
• FAVORITES14
• 

1:00 PM - 30 May 2014

HAHAHA. Hilarious Obama. The Royals have been the worst franchise in sports for the last billion years, let's make fun of the idiots that still root for them like the putz's they are. Don't think I will forget this Barack. You are two years away from being irrelevant and I am just getting started. PC 2028. Better believe that when I am POTUS the white sox one-liners will be coming out in full force. 

-PC

Royals Change Hitting Coaches and it Totally Works

Let me introduce you all to the man above...check that the genius above, Dale Sveum. Dale is the hitting Jesus that has come down from the heavens to save the Royals season. Fresh off a four game losing streak and a sweep at the hands of the lowly astros the Royals felt they needed to shake things up a bit and did they ever! Most fans out there were probably thinking that they might bring in a new guy as hitting coach with a new philosophy to shake things up a bit or maybe even a change at head coach. No no no the Royals had much bigger plans in mind. The front office and Ned Yost decided that is was time to bring out the secret weapon that is Dale Sveum. Good ole Dale has been waiting in the shadows as the third base coach and has secretly had all the answers to the hitting problems all along. Ned Yost and the front office didn't want the mastermind working his magic until we were well into the season and 4 games under .500 because they didn't want division foes like the Tigers figuring us out too early. Now we have 2/3's of the season to just absolutely destroy American League pitching. I almost feel bad for Toronto having to face this new high powered office right off the bat. Thought they were getting a team that scored 5 runs in a series against the astros. NOPE! 8 runs in game one right in your face. God damn the playoffs are going to be so much fun this year! Thank you Royals! And thank you Dale!

-PC

P.S. How about the Royals just making up a coaching position for former hitting coach Pedro Grifol. "Hey lets not fire Pedro. Let's just make up a new position for him. Call him catching instructor." This team is so fucking pathetic I can't stand it.

World's Tallest Water Slide Isn't Ready to Open Due to Safety Issues: Shocker

Story

So we are all in agreement that the people "lucky" enough to test this thing out totally went airborne and got seriously injured or probably died right? I mean who really thought flying straight down a thousand foot slide at 200 mph in a raft with no safety straps was really a good idea? I'm all in for a little adrenaline, but this thing might be a little much. Back in my heyday there wasn't a roller coaster or water slide that I didn't want to try, but I am getting old man. Death is a real thing now and when I think about this second little bump sending me to the moon I think I'll have to pass.  So if and when this thing ever does open it is safe to say that I'll leave this death trap to the crazies.

-PC

P.S. Hey Schlitterbahn, how about getting a little grass growing? Your park looks like it is in the middle of KCK.... oh wait.

May 21st PC Officially Gives Up On The Royals

Now if you are counting at home this is the 3rd time I have "Officially given up on the royals this season" but those first two were clearly fake give ups. I have a tendency to fake give up on a lot of things. Royals, Chiefs, the girl in college who I hooked up with once because I was really drunk and she was kind of ugly but did some cool things in the bedroom, and junk food. But this give up is FOR REAL. There is no pulling me back in this time Royals. I am done. We are sitting at 22-23, in 4th place, and blowing 5-0 leads in the 1st. I think it is time for us all to come to the realization that this team isn't making the post season this year and probably never will again. You'll probably say "Dude PC never make the playoffs again ever? That's a bit ridiculous bro. I mean they have to make it sometime." Do they? Do they? DO THEY? Because the last time I checked I have been on this planet for 23 years and never seen a little KC in the scorebox that reads ALDS. And Honestly are we any better off than we were 8 years ago when we hired Dayton Moore? Yeah we are not losing 100 games automatically every season, but shit this team still hasn't ever threatened to make the post season. They keep telling us to wait and wait and these guys will come around, but i've been waiting and I ain't seen shit. This team is still a fucking joke.

You might ask yourself why I decided today would be the day that I officially gave up on the Royals as they have been hovering around .500 all season. Well yesterday I happened to be driving to lunch when I heard a little quote from our faithful manager Ned Yost. He was asked about how he thought we could compete for the playoffs when were a then 5-14 against the central (now 5-15). Over the years Ned has giving hundreds of answers that I found extremely idiotic and ill-advised, but yesterday Edgar flat out infuriated me. Yost said something along the lines of  "Well yeah but you have to realize that most of those loses are to the Tigers." (0-5 vs the Tigs) WHAT?! What the fuck are you talking about Ned? OH the Tigers are sooooo good how in the world could us Royals compete with that? They have Miggy and Verlander. Its just too much for the Royals.

All this time Ned and the front office have been talking about contending for a central championship. You know what you have to do to win the central championship? You have to beat everyone in the fucking central. That includes the fucking Tigers Ned. "Most of those are against the Tigs" (snarky Edgar voice) Give me a fucking break. I'm done with this team forever.

-PC

P.S. Yes I am going out to the K tonight.

Oh What Could Have Been

Last night's 1st round was the first and only time I have been absolutely devastated by the draft. Going into it I had zero hope that the Chiefs would actually land Johnny Manziel. The Chiefs are sitting at pick 23 with no second round pick. So obviously they are not going to be trading up to get Manziel when you already have a decent starter in Alex Smith and there is no way the great Johnny football is dropping to 23 right? But as the draft moves along team after team pass on the guy and all of a sudden we are at pick 16 from the cowboys. Jerry Jones picking someone like Manziel makes too much sense. There is no way Jerry is going to pass on having ESPN talk about his team 24/7 365 open on Sundays. Wrong. They take some OT  from Notre Dame that no one gives a shit about. The anti-Jerry Jones pick. Probably a smart move, but shocking non the less.

After the Cowboys there was no team that really needed a qb between the Chiefs pick at 23 and for the first time I was getting legitimately excited. Ravens take a linebacker, Jets nap a safety, Dolphins go tackle, Saints with a wide out, Pack feeling a safety. Holy Shit this is happening. We are a pick away and he is still out there. All that stands between us and Johnny Football is an Eagles wide receiver pick. They don't need a qb. Manziel is going to be a Chief!! Commercial Break...

"They are going to come back and the Browns are going to have traded up to get Manziel. Just watch it." -PC during commercial break

Back from commercial break... The Philadelphia Eagles have traded the 22nd pick to the Cleveland Browns. My heart sunk. The dream was over. Manziel is going to be a Brown. Seconds later Roger Goodell gave me the bad new I already knew was coming.

Dagger straight to the heart. I didn't even care who the Chiefs drafted at this point. No one could make up for the disappointment I had just suffered. Not everyday Cleveland gets the best of you and let me tell you it does not feel good.

Cleveland is probably the only city that has suffered more in sports than KC so in a way I am kind of happy that they got the certifiable stud that is Johnny Manziel. Still doesn't make up for the fact that I was like a 7th grade chick that just got dumped by her 8th grade boyfriend the rest of the night. Down in the dumps city and Dee Ford didn't help. All the Dee Ford pick tells me is that this is Hali's last year in KC.  They guy might be a fucking stud and I really don't even care. So close to Manziel yet so far away. So Chiefs it hurts.

-PC

Hawks get Florida in Big 12/SEC Challenge.

Payback time. The Big 12/SEC Challenge for 2014 has been announced and I am looking forward to a nice little revenge game in Allen Fieldhouse December 5th. Both KU and UF are going to be loaded next year and Allen is going to be pumping the turbulence. This will easily be the biggest home game of the year besides the Texas game. Might have to sneak into the student section for this one and experience it like you're suppose to.

Other games include Texas at Kentucky, Missouri at Oklahoma, and K-state at Tennessee. The rest of the games will suck. Can't wait for that TCU at Ole Miss barn burner. It is a shame the SEC really suck at basketball.

-PC

KC Destroys America's top 35 Best Ribs List and PC's Top 5 KC BBQ Joints

The Daily Meal came out with a list of America's 35 best ribs and guess who completely destroyed the list? Yes once again KC takes the top spot in everything BBQ. 4 of the top 10, 3 of the top 4 and 1 and 2 respectfully all from KC. I seriously have never seen a list of best bbq places that doesn't have a KC joint in the top spot. We simply make the best ever and will never be touched by another city ever again. And this list is for ribs. Ribs ain't even our thing. KC bbq is the best because we bbq EVERYTHING. Turkey, Ham, Pork, Brisket, Chicken, Sausage, and then we just go around inventing things like burnt ends. KC doesn't even care about ribs and we just manhandled that list and every phony bbq city that prides themselves on ribs. Looking at you Memphis and St. Louis (mega bbq phony).

I think this is the first time I have ever brought up the fact that KC bbq is the greatest food there is and there ever will be so I have decided to give my list of the top  5 KC bbq joints and the reasons why I think they are the best.

*I should let you all know that I am a huge bbq turkey sandy guy so that is what I have eaten at all of these places and what I based my rankings off of.

1.) Oklahoma Joe's. 

Z-man. Did you read that * before the rankings? You did didn't you? Said I liked bbq turkey sandys and right of the bat I'm saying Okie Joes is #1 because of the Z-man. "How you going to do that PC? Doesn't even make sense. The Z-man isn't a turkey sandy." I don't give a fuck. The Z-man is the best sandwich anyone has ever eaten and trumps any turkey sandy ever made. Beef Brisket, provolone cheese, two rings, and a mounting of bbq sauce. Find something better I dare you.

You have to realize that when people are standing in line at a fucking gas station for over an hour that the food at this joint has to be incredible.

2.) Gates

Gates gets number two on my list for one reason and one reason only. The sauce. So much flavor and just the right amount of spice. Of course the meat is no slouch itself and nothing beats a sassy black woman yelling at you to order. Know what you want going in or there is going to be some very pissed off cashiers and customers that will beat you down with funny black humor that I don't even understand.

3.) Rosedale BBQ

Woah?!?! Little bit of a shocker right? Half you idiots in KC probably don't even know this place exists, but this place is what a BBQ joint is all about. Wooden booths, crappy tables, and napkins for days. But the real treat at Rosedale is the incredibly thick chucks of meat they throw on your hoagie bun before soaking it with full flavored sauce. Who said bbq had to be sliced thin? Get to Rosedale and let you mouth have an orgasm and tell me that again. Sneaky number three, but well deserved. Probably the only nice thing in KCK. 

4.) Jack Stack 

Tried to hate Jack Stack for as long as a could and ultimately that is why it isn't higher on my list. Jack Stack is not real bbq. It is a fancy schmancy country club plaza stuck up snob joint. It's bbq for all the rich folks that think they are too good to eat in a gas station or go downtown and socialize with urbans. BBQ is supposed to be served by a sweaty black man named Clarence who has been smoking bbq for 50 years and hasn't taken a shower in a week not some 21 year old blonde babehammer named Courtney.  BBQ is supposed to be a dirty somewhat gross yet delicious experience not a sit down wine and dine uppity dinner. 

Having said that, I hate to admit it but Jack Stack is fucking great. I'm not a rib guy but the pork ribs at stacks are to die for. I actually disagree with the originally list that said OK Joes had the best ribs in the world because it is Jack Stack. I know I am a turkey guy, but even I have to go ribs here. Still hate everything it stands for, but even I can admit it's damn good. 

5.) LC's BBQ

Rounding out my top five is LC's. Southeast of downtown in a somewhat less than desirable part of town lies LC's Another hole in the wall rundown bbq joint that I love. Tons of meat, excellent spicy sauce and a great hometown feel. LCs is fifth on my list and is still better than any joint outside on KC. We have a noose around the neck of the bbq game and its only getting tighter. Others can try to imitate but nothing is ever as good as the original. We may suck at a lot of things, but no one messes with KC BBQ.

-PC

P.S. You will notice Arthur Bryant's is not on my list. Arthur Bryant's is not on my list because Arthur Bryant's sucks. I hate it and I will never go back. Terrible meat and even worse sauce. So spicy I feel like I am eating Mexican. GTFO Arthur. Belong in St. Louis with the rest of the phonies. 

Nastia Liukin Has Been Hiding Something...

Nastia Liukin ‏@NastiaLiukin  6m

#GirlsNight @HeyCaityMae @LenayDunn @ClareGalterio @HeyCaityMae @aq_mag pic.twitter.com/hgtGNphCkG

Woah!?!?! Where have those huge awesome looking funbags been my entire life? Nastia finally letting the puppies breath and my jaw is on the floor. Been a big fan of Nastia since the '08 games and I had no idea these things existed. I was a young 18 year old boy and she was the 20 year old smoke I wanted everything to do with. Might have sent her some fan mail.. Maybe? I don't know. Anyway it looks like hanging with her and that fivehead for all these years is finally paying off because we have come a long way since this..

-PC

Royals Streak Continues

Royals are 14-0 when scoring 4 or more runs. 0-13 when scoring less than 4 runs. First off, I don't know how the hell this team is over .500. Just a horrible team offensively. A month into the season and our 3 and 4 hitters are both without a home run. Yeah the gruesome twosome of Eric Hosmer and Billy Butler are homerless.  The team only has 10 homers total and four of which are coming from Moose who is hitting a whooping .149. This team is a joke and I hate the fact that I love them. I did give up on them last week and I am sticking with that give up. Huge series with the tigs this weekend that may make me rethink my give up, but for now I am still all in on the give up. Anyway what a dumb stat. 0-13 when scoring less than 4? Score 4 fucking runs then and win the god damn game. Or how about winning a pitching dual. Didn't we win like a thousand one run games last year? Get it in gear Ned and make me eat my shorts for giving up too early for the second time this season.

-PC

Best Ad of All Time?

Just flipping through a couple youtube videos minding my own business wasting time and this sensational advertisement comes on before I get to enjoy my WWE top 10 royal rumble returns video. Absolutely incredible.

Just right out of the gun. "Hey there you sexually deprived Suck Baaaags." Guy instantly gained my attention. "Are you struggling with the ladies? I bet you are you fat slob?" How the fuck did he know? Its like he knew someone watching WWE videos at 11 in the morning was kind of a piece of garbage. So at this time I had the option to skip the ad and move onto my video. Yeah right this beef castle has my full attention and I'm buying what he's selling. 

This guys name is the one man thrill ride and he wants us to understand that ever no means you are on step closer to you next "YEEEP!!" Its been awhile since my last yep so I could use all the help I can get. Thrill ride tells me all you need to get your next yep is the T-shirt that makes the man. That's right the one man thrill ride t-shift is an instant panty dropper. You just have to put on this shirt and chicks will instantly lose their minds just thinking about the one man thrill ride himself. Oh yeah is has nothing to do with you because you are a scrawny 160 lb sunken chest sexually deprived SUCK BAG, but its all about Jimmy Preston and his chiseled STEEL and SEEEEX appeal. When she sees that shirt she is going to want to be "ravished like a locomotive." Needless to say, but I bought three of these babies and can't wait to send babes to the ozone with a single pound. 

Next we come to the highlight of the video. The one man thrill ride kind of snuck this one in towards the end, but for anyone who stuck it out they were not disappointed.  "If you my friend experience an erection lasting longer than four hours than PAT yourself on the back. You have officially achieved mac status! YES that is double bonus points!" So many questions. What is mac status? Who is giving out bonus points? And what are they used for? Why would you want to be hard for over four hours? I guess I am clearly not ready to achieve mac status. Getting this t shirt might not have been the best idea. 

SEE YA DINKS!

-PC

P.S. After being called a sexually deprived suck bag by and advertisement I went for a run for the first time in like 8 years. It just took the one man thrill ride to call me a fat slob before I realized I have become a fat slob. 

Myles Turner Commits to Texas; This Kid Could Not Give a Fuck

Not the greatest pic but this bro had his head phones in and his eyes glued to his phone the entire press conference. I would have got a vine of it, but my DVR isn't working so I had to act fast. This guy just doesn't even give a fuck about his fellow classmate being a top recruit and about make the most important decision of his life up to this point. "Hey man don't you think you should pay attention?"  "Nah man Fuck this assembly, I'm going to do me and listen to Lil Wayne and play angry birds. Besides it should be me out there." To be fair there were about 4 of these bros just not giving a fuck listening to their beats right behind turner. I just couldn't get a pic of all of them. All I have to say is next time show a little respect. Your jams and texting your girlfriend can wait 10 minutes pal. Act like you've been there before.

As for Turner... First off, solid bucket hat. Gotta respect anyone that commits with a bucket hat. But Texas? You do know Rick Barnes is still their coach right? 11 straight for my hawks just got a little bit harder. Could have used you pal.

-PC

Is There A Worse Spokesman For Your Product Than The Pawn Stars Guy?

Just saw this commercial on the TV

I instantly went online and bought thirty Gillette Fusions. I fucking hate this guy. Just a complete sleezeball that is now a multimillionaire because he ripped a ton of people off and put it on tv. How is this show still on? Do Americans really like fat people fucking over other fat people? I guess that was a pretty stupid question. Of course Americans like fat people fucking over other fat people. Americans just love watching fat people on tv because they feel like if that fat person can do it why can't they. Fucking fat people. Whatever. Fuck this guy. Never going to buy this one razor crap solely out of spite.

-PC

WWE Smackdown Recap

As you all know my roommates and I are huge WWE fans and last night Smackdown was in downtown KC at the Sprint Center. So a couple buddies and I made the short drive down there to experience the mayhem. It was actually WWE Main Event and WWE Smackdown. Two shows for the price of one baby. Classic move my McMahon giving back to the Universe. Guys a legend. Here is my recap.

We arrive downtown about 30 minutes before the show and park in a garage close to the arena. House a couple car bud lights because that is what Americans do before WWE events and noticed that almost all the fans walking by us are kids with their parents. I thought we were for sure going to be the oldest guys there without kids, but then in true WWE Universe fashion the old guys start walking by us dressed to kill. A lot of Wyatt family outfits sported by grown men. They looked so ridiculous I had to respect it. I didn't realize people actually liked the Wyatt family until last night. Huge cult fallowing and it really kind of scared me.

So next we enter the Sprint Center and instantly get a seat upgrade to the side the camera faces. Again, Vince just taking care of his people. Had nothing to do with the fact that no one was there and they didn't want people watching on TV to see all the empty seats. No way Vince is just the best, in your face. So we are 16 rows up a little to the left of the ring sucking down some tall Budweisers. The first match was between Santino and Brodus Clay.  Two absolutely dreadful WWE superstars that no one gives a shit about besides that for some reason Santino has teamed up with this Aussie smokeshow Diva Emma.

She was out there doing he little dance and showing off her phenomenal heinie cheering for the idiot Santino. I could not get enough of it even though I asked her out for lunch Monday on twitter and never heard anything back. Kind of a kick to the nuts, but ill bounce back. Pretty obvious that she regrets not taking me up on my offer from this tweet she had today.

 

EMMAVerified account‏@EmmaWWE

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take. Accept no ones definition of your life, define your own #EMMAcrats! #EMMAlution #WWE

Sorry Emma, but you had your chance. The show rolled on and was pretty uneventful. Had a lot of the guys getting love right now like Swagger, Cesaro, Sheamus, and the Usos. RVD even made a fat appearance. Guys all fat and doesn't even care. Not really a frog splash anymore, more of a Frog Cannonball am I right? All those guys had pretty standard boring matches. I was about five 20 oz beers in so I didn't really care. I was still having a great time yelling my ass off and schooling some youngsters behind me with the depressing amount of wrestling knowledge I have.

About halfway through Smackdown Daniel Bryan came out to let everyone know that if you mess with his wife you mess with him in reference to Kane attacking his wife Monday on Raw. His entrance sparked a nice little "Yes! Yes! Yes!" chant that I thoroughly enjoyed, but ended with no sign of his smoking hot wife or a Kane interruption. I was really hoping for a free preview of Daniel Bryan vs the Devil's favorite Demon but it looks like we will just have to wait for Extreme Rules on Sunday. By the way has there ever been a less anticipated pay per view? Seriously? Extreme Rules is going to suck. I mean I am going to watch it, but the thing is going to suck.

Finally towards the end of the show we got an entertaining match. A fatal four way for the United States Championship. Dean Ambrose (belt holder), Alberto Del Rio, Ryback, & Curtis Axel all squared off in from what I remember was an awesome match. Tons of sweet chin music-esque kicks to the face and Ryback body slams. Four superstarts gutting it out for over 20 minutes for a chance at the prestiougus US Championship. In the end Ryback took out his tag team partner Axel with a meat cleaver clothes line that was meant for Del Rio. Del Rio then did something that took both Ryback and himself out of the ring (don't recall what it was because I was drunk). This move allowed Ambrose to run in and steal the match. The place went nuts and for the first time ever I think I became a fan of the shield.

After the fatal four way the wyatt family came out for like the 10th time of the night and attacked Ambrose. The rest of the Shield came to his rescue and out of nowhere a referee starts a 6 man tag team match. The match was nuts. Bodies flying all over the place and finisher after finisher. Roman Reigns of the shield ended up punching the living daylights out of every member of the Wyatt family and they won the match. Extremely intense stuff to close it out. Even got a tomahawk chop going as some Chief players were shown up on the big screen.

In the end the show wasn't that great. I had an awesome time because I was just yelling my ass off and had consumed quite a bit of booze, but the show still was pretty mediocre. No stone cold, no cm punk, not even a John Cena sighting. I guess you have to expect that the show before a PPV, but I could have used some sort of surprise. Oh well. Still won't stop me from being at Monday night RAW October 20th in KC. Yeah that's right. They announced Raw will be returning to the Sprint Center in October.

-PC

Royals Drop 3 out of 4 to the Tribe; Fall to 10-11

Well the Royals played yesterday morning and lost. Oh you didn't know? Yeah the game started at 11 am and wasn't on TV. Classic Royals. Worst TV contract in the league and its not even close. Doesn't pay anything and a ton of games aren't even televised.  I don't think other cities realize that us schmucks in KC can't even watch all of our baseball games on TV. In fact this is the first season that we've had 140 games on TV. Sounds like a lot, but what the fuck am I suppose to do the other 22 games? Listen to the radio like some loser? You would think that by living in KC my entire life I would be used to this disappointment, but no it still pisses me off. 

Anyway the Royals lost 3 out of 4 to the Indians and are now 10-11. I think it is time for me to officially give up on the Royals for 2014. I fake gave up when they got swept by the twins earlier in the season, but in typical Royals fashion they go on this 5 game winning streak and pull me right back in. Well now I think its really over. I fully expect them to drop 2 out of 3 in Baltimore and probably never see .500 the rest of the season. God I hate being a Royals fan. 

-PC

Chiefs GM John Dorsey "Gives Out" His Phone Number For Chiefs Fans To Call

So apparently this commercial came on during the NCAA Tournament this year promoting the Chiefs upcoming draft. As you can see the commercial is trying to bait you into calling the phone number at the end. I am guessing not very many people decided to actually call the number as this thing aired a couple weeks ago and it is just now making Kansas City headlines (Making Burban Sports). So when you call the number no one picks up and you get this voicemail message from Chiefs GM John Dorsey: 

"Hi, it's John Dorsey. Sorry I can't take your call right now. Thanks for the phone call and thanks for being part of the Chiefs Kingdom. I'd love to hear from you so leave a message at the beep."

Word on Twitter is that the big man actually did call some of the fans back and thanked them for their input. Pretty lame gimmick by the chiefies but whatever. You can text this thing as well and you get basically the same automated response. Some jokesters around town decided to make a mockery of the whole thing... This one hurts... 

-PC

Great Bend Man Worried "Murder" Tattoo Might Not Go Over Well With Jury in His Murder Trial

The Associated Press

A Kansas man charged with first-degree murder is afraid the tattooed mirror-image letters spelling out the word "murder" across his neck might prejudice a jury, so he is asking for a professional tattoo artist to remove or cover it up.

Prosecutors say they aren't opposed to Jeffrey Chapman covering his tattoo, but Barton County's sheriff says he's against transporting Chapman to a licensed tattoo facility — the only places tattoo artists are allowed to practice under Kansas law.

The Great Bend Tribune reports Chapman's trial is scheduled to start Monday in the November 2011 killing of Damon Galliart, whose body was found by hunters in a roadside ditch southwest of Great Bend.

Chapman's attorney says in a motion the tattoo would be extremely prejudicial if seen by a jury.

So this idiot is worried that the jury might think he committed murder because of his "MURDER" tattoo across his neck? Pretty smart guy on this one. Not an expert whatsoever in the murder scene, but I think its a pretty solid rule of thumb that you only get a "MURDER" tattoo if you have actually murdered someone. So this guy clearly did it right? So do you blame him for trying to get out of it anyway he can? I don't want to spend the rest of my life in prison and neither does this guy. I also don't go around killing people in rural Kansas, but to each his own. Also this bro might want to think about turning that teardrop tat into a cool looking star or something. Pretty sure the jury might not like that one as well..

-PC 

Gotta Respect this Indians Fan's Shirt Game

Listen I hate the Indians just as much as any Royals fan, but I have to respect the shirt game by this bro. Screams I don't know what you do in your city, but here in Cleveland we pound Natty Light all day everyday. Would kill do have one of these with that state of Kansas on it. The best part is that he is just rocking it at all ball game. Could care less about the tribe losing to the Royals. He came for one reason and one reason only, Beer.

-PC

Grandview Douche Charged In Highway Shootings

Story

So the police finally caught this douche that has just been driving around the Grandview Triangle shooting people from his car. Guy has been freaking people out for over a month. I even took a different route to the K last week just to avoid the triangle in the off chance this maniac was out trying to kill people. Guy legitimately had an entire city on edge and after reading this story I know he is a fucking idiot. He was doing all this shit in a green dodge neon with ILLINOIS plates. What a fucking moron. Drive around KC and what plates do you see 99% of the time? Kansas and Missouri. Illinois sticks out like a fucking sore thumb. If you're going to go on a shooting spree like this at least try and blend in with the crowd. Guy wanted to get caught and I hope he rots in prison for a long time. Just thankful this idiot didn't kill anyone. 

-PC

Frank Haith Jets for Tulsa

Frank Haith has agreed in principle to replace Danny Manning as the next Tulsa head basketball coach. Really stepping up in the world aren't ya Frankie? Leaving the forever cursed Missouri tigers to ride a Jayhawks coattails. This has got to be pretty much every Missouri guy's dream right? Constant comparisons to their neighbors, but never be able to live up to them.  Deep down in every Tiger there is a longing to be a Jayhawk. It's really sad kind of.

On a serious note I think this is actually a good move for the Tigers. Haith was a bad coach. Had a ton of talent and still couldn't make the big dance. Guy's only accomplishment was backing into a big 12 tourney championship. I don't know who they are going to get, but you have to assume it will be someone that can actually get talented players to get up for big games.

-PC

P.S. I guess he quit via text message. No respect. No Missouri it hurts.

If You Hit a Homer Against the Astros, Did it Really Happen?

Last night Mike Moustakas hit a game winning home run in the 11th inning to beat the Astros. The homer was the first of the season for Moose and finally bumped his average above .100. I was saying to myself. "throw a parade! The moose is back. Screw all the doubters." But then I got to thinking... If you hit a home run against the 'stros, does the homer really count? Just like the age ole question of If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?  I ask this question because I honestly don't know the answer. I mean the astros are not a real team. Some one just threw 25 guys on a roster and called them a team. The astros are like a team full of Mike Moustakas's. Absolute turds out on the diamond. So if you hit a home run against a fake team does it count? I see the Royals have it in their record books as a homer, but doesn't there need to be an asterisk or something? *Hit home run against fake team.

Who knows? The Royals suck by the way.

-PC

Fuck This Kid

The Royals just tweeted this dweeb. I'm 23 and I have been to 1 opening day. The sign might as well read "Hey PC. How's my ass taste?" Just shoving it right in my face and I can't do a damn thing about it. Should have worn gloves bud. Going to get mighty cold holding that sign up all day. HA got him!

I know kids like this. Too much of a dweeb and not athletic enough to actual play sports so they just become this huge Royals and Chiefs fan. Reads whatever is on the teams websites and tries to have a conversation with you and your friends about them. Comes in with something like "Alcides Escobar hits .270 in the two hole when facing lefties on day games so we should move him up in the order against Sale." No Dumb Fuck. Escobar sucks no matter where you put him. He bats .270 against lefties on day games in the two hole because he has played like 10 games with that criteria. In his other 1000 games he sucks idiot. Stop reading bullshit on Royals.com and shut your fucking face. So pissed I am not out there.

-PC

Thursday Redhead

Mara Roldan. 

Can't get enough of this Colombian fire. Might get into the drug game so I can get down to Medillen and take a run at her. 

-PC

Opening Day at the K

Really doesn't get much better than this. Opening day in Kansas City is like a 2nd St. Patty's Day. Just a total shit show out in the parking lot. You have every construction company in the city taking the day off and getting the tailgate started at 8:00 am. 40 year old men doing beer bongs before noon, people plowing in port a jons, and dudes pissing themselves. Basically Kansas City sports in a nutshell. Our teams suck. Let's get bombed. Wish I could be there joining the madness, but having a job is really preventing that. If only money wasn't an issue and I could just get bombed and watch sports all day like a really American. #thedream.

Since basically anything goes in the K parking lot I assume there wont be too many arrests, but you know that the two cops patrolling the entire lot are going to catch at least one public peeing. Poor guy. His entire tailgate has been opening the passenger door and peeing into an empty 30 rake of bud light all day and he happens to be the guy that bike cop brad catches and decides to make an example of. Sometimes life isn't fair.

-PC

P.S. Bike cop brad is a real douche. Used to be able to hang in the parking lot well into the 5th inning back when I was in high school. Didn't need to have someones cool step dad to let us have a party at his house. We had 81 parties a summer out at the K. Just a bunch of 17 year olds getting hammered off natty light and no one says a god damn thing. Now bike cop brad comes around at the end of the 1st and ruins everyone's fun. Makes them go inside like an ass. Let the teenagers drink in peace brad. No need to go on a power trip and do your job. Be a slacker like the rest of us.

I've decided to Start Dating a Professional Soccer Player

Apparently Kansas City has a professional  Women's Soccer team. FCKC or some shit. This team came into my work the other day to do some promoting for their home opener in a couple weeks. Most of them were total woofs, but there was about five or six total babes. Starting doing a little research of the roster and have narrowed it down to three girls that I could see myself possibly dating. Melissa Henderson, Merritt Mathais, and Nia Williams all fit my age and body requirements. So how do I make this happen? Believe it or not I have some friends that actually know some of these chicks. So I could possibly hang out with these babes and get to know them and eventually ask one of them out like a normal person. But that isn't the PC way. The PC way is to never see these girls again and eventually give up on his dream of dating a professional athlete. So I have decided to change the PC way. I am just going to tell everyone I know that I am dating one of these chicks. "Yeah I am dating one of those FCKC players. She is awesome!" - Me to Everyone. I mean at some point if you tell enough people that you are dating a professional soccer babe you kind of are right? Doesn't matter if she catches wind of this and says something like "No I've never heard of that guy. Sounds really creepy." There will still be people out there that think we are dating because I will still be telling them that we are dating and that's all that really matters. As long as a couple people still believe we are dating I can "break up" with this girl and I will be known as the guy the broke the heart of one of those soccer babes. You get a reputation like that and babes come a flocking. "Wait so a professional athlete wasn't even good enough for this guy?" -hot girls mind. "I am probably not good enough for him, but I should sleep with him just to make sure." BOOM! PC slaying babes because he fake dated a soccer player and then broke her heart. The NEW PC WAY.

I still haven't decided which one I am going to start telling people is my girlfriend, but I'll choose soon enough and let all you know. A plan like this can't not work.

-PC

So I Struck Out Again in Softball

Seriously think I have a problem. Swinging at anything and everything. Feel like the biggest chump in the world out there. So I struck out in my first AB last week. I don't think the ball ever even made it to the plate and I am still swinging at it. After that I was so terrified that it would happen again so I decided I wouldn't be swinging at anything unless I was sure it was over the plate. This strategy resulted in 3 straight walks for me. I think... I know I am more embarrassed about walking over striking out. I felt like the biggest piece of shit taking that base THREE times. No excuse. Went into my 5th and final AB knowing I had to get a hit. I hit a pop up to right field that on any other day would have been a foul ball, but luckily for me the wind was 40 mph and blew that sucker a foot fair. Double city. Felt great to get the monkey off my back, but not really because it wasn't a legit hit. Ill see if I can get things going next week.

-PC

Tonight Redemption is Spelled P-C

Last Wednesday was my first Softball double header of the season. I had a rough day at the plate. I mean a rooooouuuugggghhh day. A cool 0-8 with THREE strikeouts. That is correct. I struck out three times in two softball games. Easily the most embarrassing thing I have ever done in a sporting event. I have no idea how this happened. I have never struck out in 5 years of playing beer league softball. This pitcher was so in my head he was paying rent. He kept throwing this knuckle ball that would land three feet in front of the plate and for some dumbass reason I was taking hacks at it. I didn't want to swing, but this guy was making me. I could use the excuse that it was the first game of the year or that I had had a sixer pregame, but i'll admit when someone is in my head. Guy had me completely rattled.

Well tonight I return to the diamond to redeem myself. I am thinking at least a 6-8 kind of night. No beer. No distractions. This is the big leagues and it's time to start acting like it. I'll be sure to blog about it tomorrow. I know you can't wait.

-PC

Hawks Lose To a Tree; Season's Over

I am a little late with this blog, but you all know by now that KU got upset by Stanford on Sunday. I would have blogged about this on Sunday, but after the lose a couple of friends and myself decided to purchase and kill a pony keg while watching the "best of the 90's WWE" dvd that I won in a white elephant. Solid decision because WWE is awesome and that much alcohol made me completely forget about what a terrible game the Hawks played.  There is nothing really to talk about. We couldn't make a shot, Wiggins was a non factor, and no Embiid really hurt us down low. If you watched KU all season this was not a surprising result whatsoever. Just an overall disappointing year. Never had any fire and lost a lot of big games because of it. At least we still won the conference I guess. Seldon is coming back so that's cool. Meh is the only way to describe how I feel.

-PC

P.S. Fuck the Stanford band.

Kim Jong Un Requires All North Korean Men To Get Same Haircut As Him

Power Move

Say what you will about this nutjob, but this is actually fucking awesome. I don't see Barack Obama looking out for all the male citizens of America by forcing them to rock the most amazing haircut of all time. Think about how many more North Korea dudes are going to get laid out of this whole thing? We all want this haircut, but none of us have the balls to actually do it. Ole Kimmy just did a huge solid for the men of his country. 

-PC

Mizzou Beats Davidson in NIT 1st Round; Draws Huge Crowd

Oh Mizzou. Sorry you didn't make the big dance like the rest of the old Big 8, (Colorado, Iowa St, Kansas, Kansas St, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Oklahoma St.) but at least come out and support ole Frank and the boys in your first round NIT showdown with Davidson. See the home games are done for the rest of us. We don't get a chance to see the team we love on our home court anymore. You guys should consider yourselves lucky. Sorry, but I expect a little better from such a prestigious program like Missouri.

Remember when you gave up this every year in your own back yard to go play down south? It is still just as awesome without you.

-PC

Chiefs Release 2014 Cheerleadering Roster

WOOF City. Sometimes I forget that the Chiefs play in Missouri. This is seriously embarrassing. We have to have to worst looking cheerleaders in the NFL. It doesn't make any sense. There are only 32 NFL and like a billion babes. Every NFL team should have total fire babes out there cheering on their team in mini skirts with their asses hanging out. It's the American way. Really think I need to take control of the Chiefs cheerleader tryouts. No one cares about how their mid quarter dance routine compares to other teams. We just want big boobs, nice asses and the chick to smell nice when they are forced to take pictures will us. Sign me up Clark. I'll even do it for free.

-PC

Thursday Redhead

Alyssa Campanella... Miss USA 2011.. SMOKE FIRE HOT!

Babe may have just surpassed Kate Mara as my #1.

-PC