Sporting KC Wins MLS Cup Despite Cauldron Leaders

As you all know I HATE the leaders of the cauldron at Sporting Park. They take away from the game while they think they are the bees knees and everyone has to listen to them and they are god and you dont chat you suck and Fuck. Dammit I get so upset just thinking about them. They bring nothing to the table. I KNOW THE CHANTS! TURN AROUND AND WATCH THE FUCKING GAME!

Anyway despite these assholes... WE WON THE FUCKING CUP! Thais right! KC with a victory! It has been a long time coming, but it was worth the wait. Time and time again this club fought back from being down. Collins header was simply amazing and gives me chills every time I see it. And then Jimmy FUCKING Nielsen in the shoot out. All hope was lost... RSL just needed to put one more in... but Jimmy said Fuck you and cut your fucking hair you bozo. A couple PKs later and we are champs. Two years two cups. Time to make it 3 in 3 with the champions league trophy in '14.

For the glory of the city!

-PC

Chip Ruins the Mood

Love this guy! Just a killer buzzkill when everyone is cracking jokes on the road trip. Reminds me of my buddy Zaha. Z has never seen a good time that he couldn't kill with a obscure fact or political rant. Zaha and Chip might be good pals. 

-PC  

Arizona Western Punter Punts For a Safety

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5nDHfARI54

Nothing says top notch college foosball like a little Fisher Automotive El Toro Bowl action. Just your run of the mill clash of the titans Arizona Western and New Mexico Military and it did not disappoint. Now I have no idea who one this excuse of the game, but I do know that the AWU punter did not win the MVP. Bro booms the punt from his own end zone all the way through his own end zone. Hope it didn't hurt his draft stock.. At least we now know New Mexico Military is a thing so there's that.

-PC

Jack Harry is a Jackass

If you live in the KC area and know anything about sports you probably know the clown that is, Jack Harry. Jack Smack has been on our televisions for what seems like an eternity. This idiot graces us with his presence every night on KSHB (channel 41 NBC). Loves to rip KU and all our success as he cries at night thinking over the failures that comes with being a Missouri fan. The man's hatred towards the hawks knows no bounds. Once claimed KU should not have a football program due to recent failures. (Still the only local team with a BCS victory.. cough cough) Jacky loves claiming KU will not win the big 12 in bball, but somehow is never down on Missouri (a team who has never made the final four). Harry once cried on the radio claiming KU fans were too hard on him. Tears from a man that uses his 3 min of airtime day in and day out to make fun of us "beakers".....

Well last night Jack had a broadcast that he would probably like to forget. Jackson was getting a little too excited about the recent KU loses to CU and Nova and he forgot he was on live TV. Jack blurted out "Gayhawks" like he was back in como as the grand poobah of The Antlers (don't bother looking these fools up). Guy was more excited than a 13 year old boy in the women s section at macy's. You know he had a full chub as he almost yelled it out and was looking for fellow Missouri trash, Frank Boal, to back him up. Frank just laughed it off and headed for commercial.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKVwOqK-0T0&feature=youtube_gdata

Now this idiot is claiming he said "Jayhawks." Good luck you schmuck. Hope this ends your sorry ass career you piece of garbage.

-PC

P.S. Burban Sports is back. Needed two weeks off to refocus... and I am very lazy and work a ton.

Chiefs Will Bounce Back

So we have lost two straight.. So what? Two best defensive players are injured.. So what? Pass rush has basically been non existent the past two weeks.. So what? The D gave up a 40 burger to that Fuckhead Phyllis Rivers.. So what? One of the best quarterbacks in the league is coming into arrowhead this week.. So what? Our offense sucks.. So what? SO FUCKING WHAT?

The CHIEFS are still the God Damn CHIEFS and we are coming for blood this weekend. Donks don't stand a chance. Should have won last week when you had a chance to take a one game lead. We win this week and will leave your sorry asses in the dust. I am 150% confident the Chiefs win this game.

-PC

P.S. I am scared shitless about this game. Please win Chiefs and take me off the ledge.

Fire Friday -Elizabeth Loaiza

Safe to say that after this terrible week on BS we all need this.

Firest Fire I've ever seen..

This Fire also has plento of NSFW photos out there if any of your guys are interested and all of you guys should be interested.

-PC

AND THEN THERE WERE NONE… (This Should have been posted Monday but PC sucks)

Denver Knocks Off Kansas City, Leaving No Remaining Unbeaten Teams

                There was no Montana Magic this time around and the 9-1 Kansas City Chiefs came up on the short end of the stick for the first time this season after a prime time renewal of their rivalry with the Denver Broncos.  Here are three reasons Chiefs fans shouldn’t go jumping off the Liberty Memorial just yet…

1.        As a few pundits predicted, but most people doubted, the Chiefs’ defense held it’s own IN DENVER, in the biggest game of most of the players’ careers.  KC held the high flying Broncos’ attack, headed up by the second ugliest quarterback to ever pull on that hideous orange abomination of a jersey, in check for the majority of the evening.  Sure, Wes Welker got loose a few times and Julius Thomas got by Eric Berry for a touchdown, but all in all, it was a solid performance by what now has to be recognized as the best defense in the league.  Aside from putting up some points on the board, the only thing the defense didn’t manage to do tonight was get to Peyton Manning.  The Chiefs recorded no sacks for the first time all season, but don’t count on this repeating itself when the Donkeys step out into the “sea of red” for the rematch in just two weeks.

2.       The offense put up 17 points.  Sure, that’s nothing to get too crazy over, but they did it for the first time in a long time without the help of a short field handed to them by the defense or special teams.  Alex Smith looked shaky at times, but put together some solid drives and threw for 2 touchdowns.  The o-line handled itself extremely well, in my opinion, facing a hyped up Denver crowd and one of the best defensive talents in the league, Vaughn Miller.   Let’s not forget, it could have been an entirely different ballgame if Dwayne “Dale Denton” Bowe and a few of his receiver buddies hadn’t dropped so many passes.  Bowe dropped everything except the dime bag I’m sure he acquired at one of Denver’s many local “medicinal” marijuana dispensaries.  Bowe dropped pass after pass and I know why… you know the rest.  By the way, do you know if Sonic is still open?

3.         The remaining schedule is relatively favorable for the Chiefs.  Denver and their zombie faced interim head coach have to immediately start game planning for the Patriots and the best quarterback of this era in Tom Brady.  Don’t even try to tell me that Manning is better than Brady, unless you’re talking about Saturday Night Live performances or commercial endorsements.  After the patriots, Denver has to face an angry Chiefs team, bent on revenge, in the loudest stadium on earth.  Other than that, the two teams’ schedules are fairly similar other than KC facing Indianapolis late in the season.  It was the Colts that gave old 5-head and company their first loss of the season a few weeks back.

All in all, things could be much, much worse in the Chiefs’ Kingdom.  Honestly, how happy did it make you seeing Scott Pioli sitting in the commentary booth instead of in the Chiefs’ owner’s suite?  Man did that guy suck!

-Old Guy Briz

WHAT I CAME HERE TO DO

I was brought here to chew bubble gum, and write some B.A. articles on all things K-State, Sporting KC, and counteract some of the rock chalk propaganda promoted here…and I’m all out of bubble gum.

First things first, I must give a tip of the cap to the fighting Weises on their victory Saturday.  Congrats on keeping the longest conference losing streak out of the state of Kansas.  We’ll save the debate on whether or not the win justified a field storming and tearing down of the goal posts for another time.  Now, on to the real reason for today’s article, the other team from the Sunshine State.

Kansas State picked up a 33-31 victory as well on Saturday in a nerve rattling contest with Gary Patterson’s TCU Horned Frogs.  The game was a back and forth affair with the Cats’ Jack Cantele putting KSU ahead for good with just 3 seconds remaining, knocking in a  41 yard field goal.  The win gave K-State its sixth win of the season making the Cats bowl eligible once again.

It’s hard to get too excited in the midst of a 6-4 season after the magic carpet ride that Optimus Klein and company took us Aggievillians on last year, but Wildcat Nation has found something to be proud of these last few weeks.  This year’s crew dropped a game to an FCS opponent and pooped away three potential victories against the class of the conference when Big 12 play opened up.  Many teams, including Wildcat teams that took the field during the “dark ages” of the reign of Ron Prince, would have packed it in.  The ageless wonder, Bill Snyder, has a little fire (not the Friday kind) left though, and the Cats have responded (to Snyder, not our Friday posts).  Four straight victories have brought respectability back to Manhattan.  The defense is starting to come around, despite desperately needing Ty Zimmerman to stop getting injured.  I’m still not a huge fan of the dual quarterback system, but Bill has made it work yet again, and both signal callers have had some major bright spots over the last few weeks.

If K-State can continue to build on their recent success, they could finish 8-4 and find themselves in a decent bowl game.  With what likely looms ahead for the hardwood incarnation of the Cats, K-State fans should soak in all of the joy that they can out of these next few weeks.  We’ll continue to hope that Bruce Webber figures things out, but I think pulling for an upset over the Sooners and another monkey stomping of our cross-state rivals is a much more realistic aspiration.

-Old Guy Briz

New Burban Sports Team Member - Old Guy Briz

Well this week has been extremely busy and I have been slacking off major when it comes to the blog. I apologize and vow that there will never ever be like a week like this again. I didn't even have a Redhead Thursday? What the hell is my problem? Am I some kind of animal? Probably.

Anyway, the past is the past and there is no way to go back and change this dreadful week. Time to look forward to the future and the future is looking bright. Onward and Upward!

We have a new teammate here at Burban Sports! If you haven't noticed ole PC has been the only one that has contributed to the amazing success of BS even though I had a few more commitments when I starting this shit. Luckily, while in the midst of housing pitchers at Cronin's (best bar in the burbs) I decided to tell my pal coworker, Matt Briz, about the blog. Briz was all about the idea and even has gone above and beyond by giving me TWO blogs on Monday. Now since I am a lazy POS, these blogs are not on Burban yet and it is Friday.. my bad. Again...building for the future!

I met Briz about six months ago when I began working at the place of business where we still currently work today (not going to tell you scumbags where I work so don't ask). Unfortunately for Briz I was hired on as his superior. HAHA Me! I am in charge!  Now it wouldn't be a big deal because I feel that I should be in charge of everything I am ever involved in because I am better than most people. BUT Briz is like 40! HA 40? Idk I just know he is old. Like really old. That is why I have given him the name of "Old Guy Briz" on the blog. He will be know as "old guy briz" and he will like being known as "old guy briz."

Other than being like 30 years older than me, old guy briz and I have a lot in common. Both love the Chiefs, Royals, and Sporting KC. So many conversations about losing. We love losing.  But the main reason I brought the big guy on was the fact that he likes losing a little more than I do. Old guy briz is a Kansas State fan. I think he even went there in the 80s. Big KSU guy over there. Just loves making fun of my Hawks and their abysmal football team. Think I care? No way jose. Unlike most KSU fans I have no problem with the other university in the state. In fact I actually root for KSU when they are not playing KU... HAHA yeah right. Screw them, but expanding my market is the only way this will ever work so welcome to the team Briz!

Don't pay attention to all the hater comments out there (maybe one day there will actually be a comment). Together we make a great team. Some may even call it the best suburban based sports blog team in the Kansas City area. Suck on that Johnson County Sports Weekly. (Just made that up)

-PC

P.S. Apparently Briz is 29. So like I said, the guy is really fucking old.

Chiefs Lost

Don't want to talk about it. 

New team member tomorrow. 

-PC

Day of Days

The day has finally come. A day that will be remembered by chiefs fans til the end of time. Today is the day the CHIEFS finally get some respect. Today is the day the CHIEFS silence the doubters. Today is the day the CHIEFS fuck the donkey's shit up.

FUCK DENVER. FUCK them and their horse fuck face John Elway owner bullshit whatever he is. FUCK Peyton. FUCK Champ. FUCK Miller. FUCK I can't even think of anyone else on their stupid fucking team they suck that much. Denver is a sorry bunch of pussies. They get all the love from the media because of golly gee Peyton Manning and no one says dick about the UNDEFEATED Chiefs. That changes tonight. Peyton Manning is just a jackass. Why does everyone love this guy? Yeah his SNL episode was hilarious (why is the door open?), but now this fuckhead is bombarding us with 50 papa johns commercials a day. Fuck him and Fuck papa john. Place fucking blows. Seriously who likes papa johns? Easily the worst of the national chains. Pizza chugs dick.

Tamba and J-Houston are seriously going to destroy the donkeys tonight. Peyton will not make it out of the first quarter. His ankle will probably be broken on the first play. Almost feel bad for the beating that bozo is going to take. ALMOST but not really.  I'm not sure who the broncos backup is, but he will be in for the majority of the game and get killed. CHIEFS 31 Broncos 10. 10-0. FUCK YOU.

-PC

P.S. FUCK THE BRONCOS

Fire Friday

Catalina Otalvaro...

Maybe Columbia isn't all that bad?

Does some guy actually get to plow this? Probably some Colombian drug lord. AKA luckiest drug lord in the history of drug lords.


-PC

Thursday Redhead

If there is one thing everyone knows about me, it's that I love redheads. LOVE redheads. There is nothing better than a little fire on the head of a fire. I only go after redheads. Pretty poor success rate, but who cares about that. Ill find my Irish princess one of these days.

Really cannot express to you all how much I love redhead fires so ill just post pics of them every week.

Week 1... Leanna Decker...

Yahtzee!

-PC

Dwayne Bowe Arrested for Possession

Today in Not Shockedville Dwayne Bowe gets arrested. Late Monday night Mr. Bowe decided on the way back from the airport that he would stop by an pick up a little of the wacky tobacky. Dumbass then proceeds to speed around Riverside and gets himself pulled over. On thing leads to another and the pig finds a little weed. Bowe is arrested and poses for this beautiful mug shot above. 

First off, what the fuck is this cop thinking? It's D-bowe you clown! The monday before the biggest game in like 20 years and your going to arrest our best receiver for possession of weed? Fuck you. People smoke weed buddy. Just because its "illegal" in MO and KS doesn't mean you need to go around enforcing these ridiculous laws like fucking Harvey dent. I don't smoke the marijuana, but I have no problem with what people do to escape reality. I drink beers WHAT? A lot of beers WHAT? If was a cop there would be no way in hell I'm busting some bros for having a little stress relief. Shame on you clown.

Secondly, Dwayne you're an idiot. Get someone from the posy to go get your weed. Smoke it in your house. You make a ton of cash so you don't have to drive around with weed. Get a clue brother. 

-PC

P.S. Apparently Bowe asked the cop where sonic was. Idiot. 

KU Boobs Back in Full Force

Some of my favorites from last night...

From last year, but still....

So fire.

-PC

KU Defeats Duke 94 -83

Well I guess KU is going to be pretty damn good this season. I was a little uneasy heading into this game. Even contemplated betting on the blue devils. DIDN'T. Instead I got a little sauced at happy hour and was full on drunk for the game. Due to my inebriation I do not recall any one point of the game. I just remember thinking that Parker was a man and playing better than Wiggins, they call way to many fouls, and no one in the big 12 will come close to touching us. 10th straight big 12 championship is a lock and its not even close. This team is too fucking good. Oklahoma St will take second, but with like a 13-5 record. Hawks are an easy 17-1. Wiggins will lead us in scoring with Perry right behind. Frank Mason is going to take Tharpe's spot at point and Tarik Black will maybe play 100 min this season. Dude loves fouling.

Rock Chalk. Suck it losers. We're the best again.

-PC

LSU Bro Killing it

Only wish the clip was longer...

Fire Friday - Trisha Lynn

My first "Fire Friday" and I am not going to lie... Pretty.... Pretty.... Pretty.... proud of myself for this one.

-PC

KU Tips Off Their Season Tonight

Looks like we have ULM rolling into the fieldhouse tonight. Honestly had no idea who we were playing until 3 seconds ago. That's how much I don't care about them. Kinda wish there was a slaughter rule in basketball so I don't have to watch this abortion long than I have too as this game will be out of hand before the first TV timeout. November games in Allen are almost always boring as fuck and this one will be no different. Tonight is all about having a big dick and letting it swing.

Wake me up Tuesday when the real games start.

-PC

George Brett threatens to shoot Autograph seeker

I hope George does shoot this bozo. Guy has asked for Brett's autograph over 35 times? What a fucking loser. Anyone that does this to make money is a fucking asshat. What are you seven? Probably likes burnt ends. Total clown. 

Reminds me of bad tickets guy. Story for another day, but this scumbag has to be related to him. 

Pic of douche getting Big Red's autograph. Ashamed to be from the same city as this idiot. 

-PC

Went to the Sporting KC playoff game last night

Well hot dog! What a game! Sporting KC pulls off an epic comeback against New England in the Eastern Conference Semis last night at Sporting Park. SKC came into the game down 1-2 on aggregate and needed to win the game by at least 1 to have a chance.

Game was basically a total beat down by KC. New England really never stood a chance and they played like scared pussies. If it weren't for a bologna call that gave NE a free kick in the attacking third (which led to a NE goal) KC would have walked into the Eastern Conference Finals with a easy 2-0 victory. Nevertheless we went into extra time, where yet again KC was the superior team. It was only a matter of time before we put on in the back of the net. And we did. And won. Suck it New England!

Nuff bout the game. I got beef with some of the fans. I was in "the cauldron" for the game. It is the supporters section located on the North end of the stadium. I like being in the cauldron because everyone is into the game and the beer is cheaper. Love the boozin. I do have one problem with the cauldron... The idiot 30+ year olds trying to lead me in chants. There are 7-8 of these clowns that dont even watch the fucking game. They are turned around the whole fucking time yelling at me to chant with them. These asshats honestly take away from my in game experience. I am trying to watch the game and all I can think about it how much these guys are pissing me off and that leads me to look at their fat fucking faces instead of the game. FORCED CHANTS CHUG DICK! God dammit I hate these morons. FUCK!

Don't get me wrong. I love the cauldron. I love the chants. I just feel that maybe you don't have to chant the entire game and i don't know maybe WATCH IT!

Ways to make the cauldron better.

1. No "leaders."
       No telling others to chant. Chant when you want.
2. No Drum
       I can't hear the god damn sounds of the game with your stupid fucking drum never shutting up. Ass.
3. Maximum repeating of chants per game is a strict 3
       These idiots repeat what seems like 5 chants about 10 times each throughout the match. Get some more material.
4. Keep the trombone

-PC

PS: Least favorite of the fearless leaders right there on the left. Guy sucks.
   

SUP

PC here. President and CEO of Burban Sports.  Looking to make a little splash in the blog world. This blog is going to be full of insightful sports knowledge, my awesome life, and as many pictures of slutty babes as I can find.

I am just a twenty something guy living in up in the Kansas City suburbs. That's right the Burbs. Where all our wildest dreams can come true. The urban lifestyle that most kids my age long for just ain't my style. I am more into working a rewarding nine to five and peepin the soccer milfs walking around the neighborhood from my 4 bed 2.5 bath mansion. Have fun in your studio apartment downtown ya corn balls, I'll be slaying Mrs. Walker from three houses down after her tennis lesson.

Little bit about myself: Blonde haired fuck... Beautiful blue eyes... Uge biceps... Need to know anything else? Didn't think so.

In my split level mansion I live with a couple of bros that may or may not be apart of the Burban team.

Sammy bag of doughnuts is my slightly overweight roommate with a temper like an old man sending back soup at a deli. Sam bags has never had a stress free day in his life and it really shows in his personality. Loves getting upset of little things like being on time, the temp inside the house, and banging his younger sister. All in all he is a really good pal and is working on the "weight problem."

Bro number two is Hambone. Hams is blonde haired fuck like myself with the exact opposite personality as sam bags. Hammy is an easily going babe slayer with a killer smile. Kid could seriously walk into any bar and go up to any girl and with one little smirk make her panties drop. (rocks a "I'm shy but I have a hug dick" shirt sometimes with a 100% success rate) Hams and I have been pals since way back and I know he will be our go to guy for any ladies that want to check out the blog.

Roommate number 3 is Bryan. He won't be apart of the blog.

We also have a dog. Bitches name is Milly and she chews up everything. Sandals, sunglasses, hats you name it. Fuck her.

Probably think this is going to be the best blog ever, don't you? I have plento of free time on my hands so I will try to post every day. You are going to want to check it out corn balls.