So we all know this morning it was reported that Billy Butler has signed with the A's for 3 years and 30 million dollars. What we didn't know until Ken Rosenthal went on Intentional Talk to today was that some little 13 year old pimple face was the one who broke the story. What the hell is going on here? How is this little shit getting information before all beat writers and reporters that do this for a living? The kid is in 8th grade and is riding the bus shooting the shit with Rosenthal while he is emailing Billy Bean and on the horn with Dayton Moore. He is the Adam Schefter of the MLB and still has to worry about getting his algebra homework done so he doesnt get detention. I am not really sure if I like this kid or not, but you have to respect him. He is 13 and already done more with his life than I ever will. Actually Fuck this kid. Such a try hard.
P.S. Go get some Billy Butler. This guy did so much for KC during the past 8 years and I loved watching him. Nothing better than a fat guy that can just rake singles all day everyday. Best of luck Billy and I hope we can still buy your BBQ sauce around town.
Can't be this guy at the game. Can't be this guy ever. Letting your wife publicly call you a loser is admitting she runs the show. At the house. In bed. Everywhere. And your the sap that buys her front row tix to her teams home game. Grow a pair and tell this broad that if she is planning a sign like this we are sitting up top.
P. S. Never date a chick that doesn't like the same teams as you. Chicks are stupid and don't know sports. They think they do and when they date someone who doesn't like their team they love to chirp. Can't stand chick chirp.
President Obama has a new White House Spokesman, Josh Earnest. Earnest hails from Kansas City and was introduced personally today by the President. I'm sure the Pres said a lot of political mumbo jumbo that no one really understands nor cares about, but in classic Obama faction he had to get a little zinger in there.
Let me introduce you all to the man above...check that the genius above, Dale Sveum. Dale is the hitting Jesus that has come down from the heavens to save the Royals season. Fresh off a four game losing streak and a sweep at the hands of the lowly astros the Royals felt they needed to shake things up a bit and did they ever! Most fans out there were probably thinking that they might bring in a new guy as hitting coach with a new philosophy to shake things up a bit or maybe even a change at head coach. No no no the Royals had much bigger plans in mind. The front office and Ned Yost decided that is was time to bring out the secret weapon that is Dale Sveum. Good ole Dale has been waiting in the shadows as the third base coach and has secretly had all the answers to the hitting problems all along. Ned Yost and the front office didn't want the mastermind working his magic until we were well into the season and 4 games under .500 because they didn't want division foes like the Tigers figuring us out too early. Now we have 2/3's of the season to just absolutely destroy American League pitching. I almost feel bad for Toronto having to face this new high powered office right off the bat. Thought they were getting a team that scored 5 runs in a series against the astros. NOPE! 8 runs in game one right in your face. God damn the playoffs are going to be so much fun this year! Thank you Royals! And thank you Dale!
-PC
P.S. How about the Royals just making up a coaching position for former hitting coach Pedro Grifol. "Hey lets not fire Pedro. Let's just make up a new position for him. Call him catching instructor." This team is so fucking pathetic I can't stand it.
So we are all in agreement that the people "lucky" enough to test this thing out totally went airborne and got seriously injured or probably died right? I mean who really thought flying straight down a thousand foot slide at 200 mph in a raft with no safety straps was really a good idea? I'm all in for a little adrenaline, but this thing might be a little much. Back in my heyday there wasn't a roller coaster or water slide that I didn't want to try, but I am getting old man. Death is a real thing now and when I think about this second little bump sending me to the moon I think I'll have to pass. So if and when this thing ever does open it is safe to say that I'll leave this death trap to the crazies.
-PC
P.S. Hey Schlitterbahn, how about getting a little grass growing? Your park looks like it is in the middle of KCK.... oh wait.
Now if you are counting at home this is the 3rd time I have "Officially given up on the royals this season" but those first two were clearly fake give ups. I have a tendency to fake give up on a lot of things. Royals, Chiefs, the girl in college who I hooked up with once because I was really drunk and she was kind of ugly but did some cool things in the bedroom, and junk food. But this give up is FOR REAL. There is no pulling me back in this time Royals. I am done. We are sitting at 22-23, in 4th place, and blowing 5-0 leads in the 1st. I think it is time for us all to come to the realization that this team isn't making the post season this year and probably never will again. You'll probably say "Dude PC never make the playoffs again ever? That's a bit ridiculous bro. I mean they have to make it sometime." Do they? Do they? DO THEY? Because the last time I checked I have been on this planet for 23 years and never seen a little KC in the scorebox that reads ALDS. And Honestly are we any better off than we were 8 years ago when we hired Dayton Moore? Yeah we are not losing 100 games automatically every season, but shit this team still hasn't ever threatened to make the post season. They keep telling us to wait and wait and these guys will come around, but i've been waiting and I ain't seen shit. This team is still a fucking joke.
You might ask yourself why I decided today would be the day that I officially gave up on the Royals as they have been hovering around .500 all season. Well yesterday I happened to be driving to lunch when I heard a little quote from our faithful manager Ned Yost. He was asked about how he thought we could compete for the playoffs when were a then 5-14 against the central (now 5-15). Over the years Ned has giving hundreds of answers that I found extremely idiotic and ill-advised, but yesterday Edgar flat out infuriated me. Yost said something along the lines of "Well yeah but you have to realize that most of those loses are to the Tigers." (0-5 vs the Tigs) WHAT?! What the fuck are you talking about Ned? OH the Tigers are sooooo good how in the world could us Royals compete with that? They have Miggy and Verlander. Its just too much for the Royals.
All this time Ned and the front office have been talking about contending for a central championship. You know what you have to do to win the central championship? You have to beat everyone in the fucking central. That includes the fucking Tigers Ned. "Most of those are against the Tigs" (snarky Edgar voice) Give me a fucking break. I'm done with this team forever.
Last night's 1st round was the first and only time I have been absolutely devastated by the draft. Going into it I had zero hope that the Chiefs would actually land Johnny Manziel. The Chiefs are sitting at pick 23 with no second round pick. So obviously they are not going to be trading up to get Manziel when you already have a decent starter in Alex Smith and there is no way the great Johnny football is dropping to 23 right? But as the draft moves along team after team pass on the guy and all of a sudden we are at pick 16 from the cowboys. Jerry Jones picking someone like Manziel makes too much sense. There is no way Jerry is going to pass on having ESPN talk about his team 24/7 365 open on Sundays. Wrong. They take some OT from Notre Dame that no one gives a shit about. The anti-Jerry Jones pick. Probably a smart move, but shocking non the less.
After the Cowboys there was no team that really needed a qb between the Chiefs pick at 23 and for the first time I was getting legitimately excited. Ravens take a linebacker, Jets nap a safety, Dolphins go tackle, Saints with a wide out, Pack feeling a safety. Holy Shit this is happening. We are a pick away and he is still out there. All that stands between us and Johnny Football is an Eagles wide receiver pick. They don't need a qb. Manziel is going to be a Chief!! Commercial Break...
"They are going to come back and the Browns are going to have traded up to get Manziel. Just watch it." -PC during commercial break
Back from commercial break... The Philadelphia Eagles have traded the 22nd pick to the Cleveland Browns. My heart sunk. The dream was over. Manziel is going to be a Brown. Seconds later Roger Goodell gave me the bad new I already knew was coming.
Dagger straight to the heart. I didn't even care who the Chiefs drafted at this point. No one could make up for the disappointment I had just suffered. Not everyday Cleveland gets the best of you and let me tell you it does not feel good.
Cleveland is probably the only city that has suffered more in sports than KC so in a way I am kind of happy that they got the certifiable stud that is Johnny Manziel. Still doesn't make up for the fact that I was like a 7th grade chick that just got dumped by her 8th grade boyfriend the rest of the night. Down in the dumps city and Dee Ford didn't help. All the Dee Ford pick tells me is that this is Hali's last year in KC. They guy might be a fucking stud and I really don't even care. So close to Manziel yet so far away. So Chiefs it hurts.
Lindsay Wise
