Tonight Redemption is Spelled P-C

Last Wednesday was my first Softball double header of the season. I had a rough day at the plate. I mean a rooooouuuugggghhh day. A cool 0-8 with THREE strikeouts. That is correct. I struck out three times in two softball games. Easily the most embarrassing thing I have ever done in a sporting event. I have no idea how this happened. I have never struck out in 5 years of playing beer league softball. This pitcher was so in my head he was paying rent. He kept throwing this knuckle ball that would land three feet in front of the plate and for some dumbass reason I was taking hacks at it. I didn't want to swing, but this guy was making me. I could use the excuse that it was the first game of the year or that I had had a sixer pregame, but i'll admit when someone is in my head. Guy had me completely rattled.

Well tonight I return to the diamond to redeem myself. I am thinking at least a 6-8 kind of night. No beer. No distractions. This is the big leagues and it's time to start acting like it. I'll be sure to blog about it tomorrow. I know you can't wait.

-PC

Hawks Lose To a Tree; Season's Over

I am a little late with this blog, but you all know by now that KU got upset by Stanford on Sunday. I would have blogged about this on Sunday, but after the lose a couple of friends and myself decided to purchase and kill a pony keg while watching the "best of the 90's WWE" dvd that I won in a white elephant. Solid decision because WWE is awesome and that much alcohol made me completely forget about what a terrible game the Hawks played.  There is nothing really to talk about. We couldn't make a shot, Wiggins was a non factor, and no Embiid really hurt us down low. If you watched KU all season this was not a surprising result whatsoever. Just an overall disappointing year. Never had any fire and lost a lot of big games because of it. At least we still won the conference I guess. Seldon is coming back so that's cool. Meh is the only way to describe how I feel.

-PC

P.S. Fuck the Stanford band.

Kim Jong Un Requires All North Korean Men To Get Same Haircut As Him

Power Move

Say what you will about this nutjob, but this is actually fucking awesome. I don't see Barack Obama looking out for all the male citizens of America by forcing them to rock the most amazing haircut of all time. Think about how many more North Korea dudes are going to get laid out of this whole thing? We all want this haircut, but none of us have the balls to actually do it. Ole Kimmy just did a huge solid for the men of his country. 

-PC

Mizzou Beats Davidson in NIT 1st Round; Draws Huge Crowd

Oh Mizzou. Sorry you didn't make the big dance like the rest of the old Big 8, (Colorado, Iowa St, Kansas, Kansas St, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Oklahoma St.) but at least come out and support ole Frank and the boys in your first round NIT showdown with Davidson. See the home games are done for the rest of us. We don't get a chance to see the team we love on our home court anymore. You guys should consider yourselves lucky. Sorry, but I expect a little better from such a prestigious program like Missouri.

Remember when you gave up this every year in your own back yard to go play down south? It is still just as awesome without you.

-PC

Chiefs Release 2014 Cheerleadering Roster

WOOF City. Sometimes I forget that the Chiefs play in Missouri. This is seriously embarrassing. We have to have to worst looking cheerleaders in the NFL. It doesn't make any sense. There are only 32 NFL and like a billion babes. Every NFL team should have total fire babes out there cheering on their team in mini skirts with their asses hanging out. It's the American way. Really think I need to take control of the Chiefs cheerleader tryouts. No one cares about how their mid quarter dance routine compares to other teams. We just want big boobs, nice asses and the chick to smell nice when they are forced to take pictures will us. Sign me up Clark. I'll even do it for free.

-PC

Thursday Redhead

Alyssa Campanella... Miss USA 2011.. SMOKE FIRE HOT!

Babe may have just surpassed Kate Mara as my #1.

-PC

Ervin Santana Signs One Year Deal With Atlanta for $14.1 Million

Wait what? Didn't the Royals offer this exact same number back in November or was I just dreaming? Just check and nope wasn't dreaming. This is just so typical Royals. Offer your guy a qualifying offer that he obviously ins't going to take because he wants a multi-year 100 mil contract. Guy's agent fucks up and before you know it it is March 11th and he hasn't signed with anyone yet. Desperate to get on a team guy comes back to KC ready to sign the contract offered back in November, but wait! KC already blew all of its pathetic payroll on Jason Vargas. Guy ends up signing same one year deal with the braves and KC gets a draft pick out of the whole thing. Don't worry Royals fans...Dayton has no regrets. 

-PC

Chiefs Losing Everyone; Broncos Signing Everyone

We are in the midst of the first day of NFL free agency and the Chiefs have done absolutely nothing. Like I don't even think we have offered anything to anyone. Seriously what the hell is going on? Schwartz? GONE! Asamoah? GONE! Albert? GONE! McCluster? GONE! Jackson? GONE! I realize that we don't have any cap room to sign anyone, but who the hell is even going to play? Our team is gone. We don't have a team! I'm legitimately scared we won't even have a 53 man roster next year.

Oh we signed Husain Abdullah. Cool I guess. Backup corner.. sweet..

Meanwhile the fucking Broncos are just buying everything. "Oh Demarcus Ware is available? Let's get him! What about Talib? OURS! What about the salary cap John? The salary cap is something the NFL just made up so small market teams like the Chiefs actually think they can one day compete with us big boys HAHAHA. We are the broncos we don't play by those rules." 100% guarantee this conversation happened at donkey headquarters sometime yesterday.

All I can hope is that all of this will blow up in the broncos face. Yeah they will probably suck in 2016, but you know what? The Chiefs suck every year. For christ sake we had the first pick in the draft last year. Why don't we go all in one year and win a god damn playoff game. Yeah one playoff game is an incredibly successful year for the chiefs. That's how pathetic we are.

-PC

P.S. CHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFFFSSSSSSSSSS

Double P.S. There are like 5 Jayhawks in the NFL and now 3 of them play for the donks. Talk about a kick in the penis.

Jojo Embiid out for the Big 12 tourney

You have probably heard by now that Joel Embiid will not be participating in the Big 12 tournament due to a stress fracture in his back. Bill Self said Monday that this injury could also keep him out of the first weekend on the NCAA tournament as well. My first reaction to this news was "Fuck we are screwed." But after a couple of days of thinking it over and remembering that the Big 12 tournament is meaningless. (I mean we let Missouri win this thing a couple times) I have come to the conclusion that we will still win the natty ship. Now I hate to say it, but I think we should let Okie State win tomorrow. Just throw in the towel on the Big 12 tourney.Whats the point of playing 3 games in 3 days when you are struggling with injuries? Focus solely on what really matters. The NCAAs. I am 100% confident that Wiggins and co will be able to take care of whatever POS #15 seed the committee decides to throw at us. Then we will probably play some middle of the pack big 10 #7 seed that will give us a game, but as always KU will end up having the bigger dick and win by 8 or so. Seriously why can't we play major conference teams every game in the tournament? We always get up for those types of games, but throw VCU or Northern Iowa our way and we piss down our legs for 3/4s of the game. Give me a Pac 12 team over a Horizon league scrub 10 days out of 10 days. Anyway after these first 2 Embiidless games we will hopefully have him back for the sweet sixteen through the natty ship and lets be honest with Embiid in the lineup we are going to win it all. Not a doubt in my mind.

-PC

Thursday Redhead

Cintia Dicker...

Babest Redhead ever to be in the SI swimsuit edition. 

-PC

I sat in front of Jim Harbaugh last night at Allen Field House

So my brother's friend got us so pretty good seats last night at the Phog. Only six rows behind the Hawks bench and exactly ONE row ahead of Jim Harbaugh. I basically became apart of the Harbaugh family. Heard all about Sally's game last night at Raytown High School and how no one could hit a free throw. Eventually felt comfortably enough to tell him about my stint as the Arizona Cardinal's "play runner." (This is a true story... Kind of a big deal) He seemed impressed and it will not surprise me whatsoever if I get a call from the 49ers within the next week.

The game was pretty lame, but senior night is always a good time and Tarik Black stole the show. Guy is going to go off this postseason and I for one am looking forward to seeing every minute of it. During his senior night speech he made a joke that baseball players were barely better athletes than golfers and that provoked Bill Self to point out that World Series Champion Joe Carter was also in the stands. Joe stood up and gave the "I'm going to get you" look to Black and what do you know he was FOUR rows behind me. Just putting sports celebrities in there place like its nothing. Finally moving up in this world.

-PC